I tend more and more these days to do audio diaries… it’s such a pros + cons thing. I’m what M calls a verbal processer.
I need to hear the words out loud.
Yapping into my phone, I can work through shit. I come to realisations. Or not. But I at least externalise things. I celebrate, commiserate, problem-solve…ya know, all the stuff journalling is good for. Especially when I sit by the river. The sound of the water tinkling over stones, endlessly looping a pretty sound as the river descends. It’s the background music of my audio notes. I think maybe the water softens and liquifies my thoughts so they too flow and tumble.
Talking out loud to myself has always been a habit; in the car, the supermarket, busy lost in a task.
But I’m also a writing processer. And it feels more safe, more permanent, more tangible. Like putting pen to paper is a timeless act, and if it didn’t work so well wouldn’t humans have ditched it?
Boxes, labels, pathologising or naming everything. Not my vibe. I’m Gen X so of course I’m sceptical about these sorts of things anyway. I prefer self-inquiry. Not “how are you feeling today?” but that deep excavation that can be gut-wrenching, path-changing, illuminating.
What also helps: getting some distance away from those unhealthy, troublesome snaggles, and finding glimmers.
